Hello my blog. It’s been a while.
This morning, I’m seated across my mother in law at the dining table, me on my iPad and she humming a tune softly as she worked on her laptop.
We (Emril and I) moved in with my in laws, again, two weeks ago. We are in between homes now having sold our old one and with the new place under construction. Thankfully for us, my in laws took us in as we wait for it to be ready, expected to be in the second half of 2011.
The last few weeks since we returned from our vacation have been a whirlwind. Turkey and Egypt seemed a million years ago. In six weeks, we completed the legalities of the sale of our apartment (which could have so easily not happened given the buyers’ penchant to go incommunicado), packed in three weeks and distributed our worldly possessions amongst the warehouse, relatives and my parents in law’s place, our temporary home for the next year or so, made a major investment decision, moved things forward at work. Emril found clarity in his career direction and I experienced a major mental exercise at work while preparing for our board meeting that took place on a national public holiday.
We made an effort over the last two weeks to make our bedroom decent. Our bedroom (which was Emril’s room before) is now a room instead of a warehouse of sorts. It’s not perfect but it is good enough for us. Even our cat momo approves. My in laws and momo are also getting along well and momo is almost back to her affectionate and loving self again.
As I sit at the dining table this morning, I am in a clearer mental space to take in everything slowly, deliberately. It’s been a watershed year of my life. So many significant moments, not the least being the passing of my Dad, expansion of relationships with people important to me, the sale of our matrimonial home, personal and professional growth.
It’s been a roller coaster year, parts of it by design and other parts a manifestation of life as life is. I am clear that my life is great. I say so not because on balance, there has been more triumphs than losses; how does one begin to compensate for the loss of a loved one?
I experience life as being great from the way I respond to life’s unpredictability, the ability to deal with life as life is and life as life is not, with a certain ease and grace, strength and clarity about what is important to me.
I finally see that a great life is not about winning all the time. It’s not even about winning most of the times. It is about how I live my life vividly as the driver in the driver’s seat of my life. How I have a say about the way my life turns out, rather than it being a function of circumstances being meted out to me. How I can choose powerfully who I can be, moment by moment, regardless of circumstances.
Life is a process of creation. I am glad I am at the source of the commitments in my life, and I thank God for his grace and compassion, for providing me with the opportunity to see that I have always have a choice about who i am and what my life is about.
The question I ask myself all the time is not what options do I have. I ask myself which choice most empowers me and people around me. My life is a result of the choices I make each moment. There will always be bad choices. It’s part of life. The key is not letting bad choices drive my life. I always have a choice.