I chose wordpress.com as the platform of my blog because someone told me it is user-friendly. I heard ‘idiot-proof’ so I jumped in. So far it has been a breeze. I’ve been snooping around a bit, playing with the settings and stuff. Then I came to the ‘privacy’ section. Hmm.
To fulfill what I have set out to do (touch and make a difference to people’s lives), I reckon keeping it public gives me access to the biggest potential audience, assuming that, at the very least, people who know me visit the site and return after the first read. I am immediately present to the openness of this choice. It screams VULNERABLE. Well, it comes with the territory, I think. What is the point of writing a blog that is restricted access to only a select group of people?
Life is vulnerable. I have been fighting to not show it for a long time. Pretending that I have some kind of super human power that makes me less vulnerable is stupid. We all are.
As much as I have embraced this blog business, I still feel butterflies in my stomach being this open and honest with the universe. Before the blog, only I know what’s in my head. Perhaps a few other close friends but no one has the full picture except yours truly. Now some people who bother to follow my ramblings will have a much better idea than they did before about what goes on in my head.
Yes I am scared. I pretty feel this way each time I try something new. On the other hand, there is a certain thrill that comes with being scared and still choosing to do it anyway. Hiding behind my fears is actually pretty tiring. Being with the fears is more straightforward.
Someone wise once said this to me: There is no such thing as being fear-less. You will always have fears. Courage is taking action in the face of your fears.
Be brave now Joanne, be very brave.